I had a moment of clarity the other day: hell truly is a relative term. My personal hell is another person’s walk in the park. I realize this, and I try to constantly remind myself that this situation could be much worse. I have a great prognosis, and if all goes as planned, I should be down for a brief period and then right back at it.
But still I find myself tossing around the “what ifs” constantly; what if I’d found it sooner, what if I hadn’t found it at all, what if the cancer comes back, what if it’s more aggressive than we think, what if, what if, what if…
A co-worker, four years into his battle with colon cancer, gave me some great advice the other day. He said, “Make sure you don’t borrow grief, Amanda.” Well said. I’ve got to remember to take it one step and one day at a time and not to fret over tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11
My hope is that once I kick the cancer to the curb, Keith and I can move on, be happy and live our lives fully. I love that man more and more every day. He has been amazing throughout this process, and I can’t even express how fortunate and blessed I feel to have him by my side.
I had the most wonderful weekend with friends and family. It was very full, very enjoyable and rejuvenating. Tomorrow, Keith and I meet the surgeon, whom I’ve heard only great things about. I’m certainly not excited about it, but I’m not apprehensive either. I’m ready. C’mon week, bring it!
